As a mom living abroad, halfway across the world away from every sense of normalcy is, well... It's a mindfuck. It's exciting, refreshing, tiring, confusing, challenging, annoying, and liberating, all at the same damn time.
It's a true test of strength and endurance as you constantly question what the hell you were thinking to make such a life-changing decision.
I always knew I was built for this. But I didn't realize the everyday emotions would be so extreme. You wake up one day and pat yourself on the back for your bravery and free spirit, while the next morning you can barely pull yourself out of bed.
And then you throw a baby into the mix that you're home taking care of, and there goes your blood pressure flying high. Because you don't have time to do the whole woe-is-me act.
You have to put that on pause as you brace yourself to make it through another day of baby meltdowns all which include hitting, scratching, and biting. Just what the doctor ordered.😩😫😱
Some days you have the grace to deal with the uncertainties. The doubts. Wondering how you'll make it. Depression slyly creeps up on you, but you refuse to fall down that rabbit hole and instead, remind yourself that things will get better.
Just as your giving yourself the pep talk, baby stares at you with the biggest smile possible, as if he knows you needed saving at that moment. (That smile spares me every time.)
As the cool night draws near, everything begins to make sense again. The heightened emotions of the day is at a simmer, and you have a moment to reflect on what you've accomplished for the day (because really, it's all about those small victories.)
You didn't call your family across the ocean to book you a return ticket. Your husband didn't have to come home from work early after your frantic call of despair.
Baby is ready for bed. You are ready for some me-time. And all's right in the world again.
Until next time.